


Lean on Me

by Beezow_Doo_Doo_Zopittybop_Bop_Bop



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Universe, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Celebrations, Crack, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sam Is Scarred For Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 20:09:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6768307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beezow_Doo_Doo_Zopittybop_Bop_Bop/pseuds/Beezow_Doo_Doo_Zopittybop_Bop_Bop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean wasn't ready for his life to change so fast, wasn't ready for the responsibilities, but he knew he could always count on Castiel and his brother to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lean on Me

**Author's Note:**

> I know this wasn't what you were expecting, but it's pretty great, right? Right?!?

Dean wuz an draggon. well he were a dragon-man... so he wuz just a men... butt he wuz stil DEEEEEAAAAAAAN!

  


and deeeeeeaaaan had a secquet (dats slang for secret): evan tho he had ALOTS of freinds, and was reeeeallly popular at his local highschool, things were all abouz ( ~~dat bass~~ ) too change...

  


Beecuz...

  


Dean

  


Was

  
PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!11!1!11!

  


"i know it's wierd!" dean whispers to his pet plant, Robert the Plant. "butt, well. thats eggactly wut it was. buttsecs. THAT IS HOW I GOT pREGGERS!!! LOL!" Dean tryed two laugh it off, butt instead, he cryed into his spaghettie.

  


"aww, noodles. i liek spegahetty," Robert said.

  


"sense win hav u been a talking plant, Bob????" dean questioned.

They're was no response. Dean cryed agin becuz of dat. 

Then sam came in.

  
" _Sie_ Sind Das Essen Und Wir _Sind Die Jaegar!"_ said Sam da other human.

  
"wut?"

"I sed, Dean, why crying?"

dean was pregnant, thats y he wuz crying, butt he couldn't tell his Hammy Sammy dat. sam red da bible. lord bby jeebus sed u couldn't even hav "dirty" buttsecs!!!!!!!! even tho jeebus is always inside of you! wuT A hIppocrite!!!!! baby hippos, smh.

Dean called up his boifreind, Castiel da angle. Castiel wuz da  _right_ angle 4 him, lol! He wuz da foshizzle to dean's nizzles... if ya no wut i mean, wink wink. 

Speaking of nizzles, Castiel nizzled his way in2 da room, and he b all liek, "HEY, PABLO! PABLO! SAM. GET DA HECK AWAY FRUM MA BABy INFUSED WIFE, U DIRTY RubBER DUCKIE!!"

Sam wuz soooo suprised dat he laid a golden egg. They named it Sam. Sam cooked his sun sam in2 a omelet, becuz bois were NOT supposed to b PREGNANT!!!!

"IT'S UR TURN, DEAN!" sam shouted acrost the room. "yOU BAAke YO DIRTY ASS FETUS IN2 A DAMN OMMELETTE! IT WILL PROBS TASTE PERTY GOOD IF U PUT DA RIGHT PEPPERS IN IT!!!!!'

Dean cryed again. Robert b liek smh and sed, "smh."   


Castiel got a tv dinner. "did i misst anyting?"  


Dean puked up his tear-inflicted spaghethietie wen he saw da tv dinner. "U KNOW I ONLY LIEK KIDS CUISINE, CAsSIE!!! HOW COULD U, U WIENER WE WERE ALL COUNTING ON U!!!"

suddenly, dean went into labor. da 16 nd pregant filmers arrived just in da nicke ov tiem. "wait," they said. "donut pop it out just yet, we are still setting up!!!"

Dean tryed to hold it, but liek a fart after a hefty serving of taco bell, it just wouldn't happen dat way. Sam rushes 2 da kichen where another supernatural character resides, quickly grabbing da frying pan and sum budda. knot dat fake zomg i cant beleeve its NOT BUTTER crap, no, he got fresh for realzies butter straight frum da local amish man's nipnips (dats slang for nipples guys).

he held da pan directly under dean's manlady parts (read: his asshole -_-) and scREEMED, "PUSH, DEAN! PUSH LIEK UR POOPING!!!!!!!!!!"  


"GET DAT PAN OUTTA MA FACe!" DEAN's BABBy EAGLE SCREECHED, LOUD ENUFF 2 B A CLOSE MATCH 4 MURICAS FREEEEEDOM!

Casttty came bakk frum da local walmert wid three kids cuisines. "LOOK, MAMA. I CAUGHT MASELF A KIDS CUISIENEIN!" when he saw da scene b4 him---da camera crew, da fryin pan, da everyitng---he laid a golden egg, witch sam ussed to fry up anutter quicke omelette. they named it sam.

than a bbaby fiiiiiinallly came out ov dean's manlady parts (read: his asshole -_-). Dean cryed wid how bootiful it was! It was...

it wass...

it WWAAAAS...

A BALLOON~~~!!!!!!!!!

"kyaaaa!" screamed Ham i mean ssam. "It iz so balloonitful! we cantaloupe eat a ballonn liek an omeletee! let's instead name it.!!!"  


"yo dis aint be yo kid dis is not an incest fanfic!" dean pointed out.

"oh yeah."

"wut should we name it---" castiel began, butt b4 he cann finish, da balloon popped wid a loud pop noice bc dats wut ballons do wend poked wid a needle.

"whoa der nelly," said Robert.

"MA bbEeAnZ! I MEAN BALLOON I MEAN BABBY!" shouted da no longer pregnant male. aka dean. he wuz not pregnant. not anymore, anywayz. "hmm well sence we iz hear anyway, migth as well announce..." dean began. "i am mpreged up again! dats rite, bitches! and dis tiem...

it

iz

...

SAM"S BABY!!!!!!!"

Castiels face went :O and so did da ccamera crew and robert and sam, all 4 diff reazons.

Casteil smiled liek da angle he was and squealed liek a wild banjo, "CONGRATS! IM SO HAPPY FOR U GUYS! BOY OR GIRL??!??!"

robert frowned. no he didnt. he's a plant.

SAM ScReAmEd AT DA TIPPY TOP OF HIS TIPPILY TOP LUNGS, "I. DO. KNOT. ENGAGE. IN. DA. DURTY. BUTTSECSSSSSS!" butt then he smiled. "MORE OMELETETEES!"

dean smiled.

he guessed was a incest fanfic after all.

**Author's Note:**

> if u donut leave kudos at dis point, u donut support mpregnancy. its a serious issue guys. 158456 men are affected EACH DAY. every kudo left is a prayer to lord bbby jeebus.


End file.
